Magical Mystery Tour
don't steal the bananas
by Ross Vick
I read with interest today a guide to group touring in Europe by Steve Hendrix. The article was in the Dallas Morning News Travel section. The first time I went to Europe I was 15 years old on a Globus Tour: "See Europe in 10 days!" I reflect remorsefully on that excursion because of my absolute naïveté on travel, the objectives and the opportunity such a trip afforded. I was with my 75 year old grandfather and 16 year old cousin. The idea was to get to Europe as cheaply as possible so that he, my grandfather, could show us, his oldest grandsons, his battlefields of World War One. We flew to Paris and had about 30 hours which to achieve our objective of the Belleau Wood Battlefield. Where as a 19 year old Marine my grandfather saw enough death and horrors of war to last many generations and yet was repeated four more times in as many months: Like surviving Pickett's Charge at Gettysburg every few weeks. Well, I was too young to not only drive, but find a way to get us there and my grandfather and cousin, along with me were afraid of getting separated from the tour group, so, we didn't even attempt to make our way the 40 miles or so out of Paris to Belleau Wood. That failure has come to haunt me in my old age and I have this obsessive siren's call to return as often as I can, somehow to make good on the unfulfilled promise of sharing that experience with my grandfather.
Such is life though, isn't it? Dealing with the many things that leave us with the empty, yet intense feeling of regret. The chances we don't take to do something which involves risk? And what doesn't involve some risk?
The article which stirred this thought describes "How to be a good bus groupie" and it reminds me of how we can be better individuals, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, friends, comrades, coworkers, colleagues and citizens of our town, city, county, state, nation and the world.
1. "Don't hog the front seats on the bus. Your fellow travelers will quietly hate you if you're one of those selfish spoilsports who gulp breakfast ever day in order to grab the shotgun rows." Metaphorically, sharing our air, water, and land and respecting everyone's desire to be up front everyone once in a while makes you a better person and sets the example for moving civilization forward. In one example: just because we need more electrical power doesn't give Texas the automatic right of being by far the most air polluted state in the nation and 7th largest polluter of the air of all organized governments in the world. We surpass Canada and the UK according to a Dallas Morning News article. As citizens working together to create a lasting solution and by sharing the burden of a cleaner environment we can make great progress. Waiting for someone else to start the trend is a formula for getting nothing done. As a wise lady once said: "Can't never could." Share the view.
2. "Don't be late: Everyone can oversleep in a new time zone. Bu you should hear what they say about you on the bus if they have to wait on you a second time." No time like the present to begin this little self improvement plan. And it is such a small thing one that makes those particularly in your intimate circle a happier group of people. In a larger sense, if we're going to clean the air and save the whales, feed the hungry and educate the illiterate, let's get on with it.
3. "Don't complain about the things the guide can't fix: To name a few: the weather, the exchange rate, the maddening insistence of foreign countries to use currencies other than the dollar, the number of tourists in Europe who want to visit the same places you do, the number of stairs that Emperor Franz Josef build into his summer palace." This is the one that got me going on this blog. Ours is a society of complainers. We've become so lazy and complacent that its easier to fire off letters to the editor rather than be required to offer a solution to the problem. I give you the lady who called 911 because Burger King would not bring her food out because their drive through was temporarily closed for cleaning. Then she got mad at 911 for not sending out the police to arrest the manager of the Burger King. Uh, okay. What's wrong with this picture? My great heartache is that so many people around the world see the US through the lens of a few wretched Americans who travel abroad and who are obnoxious in their oblivion that the world does not revolve around them. Their lack of understanding about the countries they visit, customs, currency and cuisine is absurd. If as Americans we could get past this template of perception, our standing in the world would rise considerably. Is there anything more disgusting than hearing someone with that thick New York "coffee talk" accent or fake "Scarlet O'Hara" southern drawl or "snootier than thou" West Coast attitude complaining about anything, any where? Moreover, we can't buy our way out of public impolite behavior of being crass and down right rude. As a nation we're spending billions of dollars a year and it seems like the people taking our gift aren't changing their impressions of America or Americans.
4. "Do complain about the things (the guide) can fix: The guide I worked for actually relished doing battle on behalf of her guests over balky air conditioners, underdone steaks, twice billed wine and noisy rooms." In contrast to number 3 above, our sense of optimism is is really the one thing that makes America different from most of the rest of the world. We're not a country of immigrants because (at home at least) we're pessimistic. Most folks don't remember or don't want to remember but we exist as a nation because a few farmers defeated the most powerful nation on the earth. That nation’s powerful army was so confident that they wore bright red uniforms, daring anyone to take them on. How crass is that? Our can do attitude is attractive and infectious. The key to our national reality is to keep that powerful experience positive and making sure that we are leaving the world better than we found it.
And most importantly:
5. Don't steal the bananas: Each morning, I searched for a banana for my cereal, and everyday the buffet had none. Finally, I complained (see rule above) and learned that hotels commonly hide unpeeled fruits from bus groups because it's stolen for lunches. Please, don't strip the buffet to save yourself a few euros, and maybe they'll give us back our bananas."
I witnessed this first hand while staying at the nicest Hampton Inn in the world near Cashiers, North Carolina. After their 4 bagels, three bowls of cheerios, dozen doughnuts, toasted waffles, fruit cups, 5 glasses of juice 6 cups of coffee several helpings of scrambled eggs, biscuits, gravy and sausage and several handfuls of those little Land o Lakes half n half tubs, and the entire container of sugar in the raw packets, (told you it was the best Hampton Inn in the world) these overweight middle aged self righteous travelers were "off to see the Blue Ridge parkway" and pillaged the complimentary buffet of every thing they could put in their purses, bags and coolers. They were oblivious to the fact that there was a hotel full of travelers who may want some breakfast. Based on their girth and appetite, I'm not sure they had enough of what should have been some of my breakfast to get them out of the hotel parking lot. But in the end, isn't there something satisfying about leaving the last banana for someone who really might be hungry?
The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour is a metaphor for how we live in the world and reading how we treat our selves and our fellow world travelers on "holiday" is a great mirror to look into as we see how we behave everyday. Do you remember the scene where John is shoveling spaghetti and meat sauce onto the plates in the dining room with a shovel out of a wheel barrow? That's US!
As as we travel along on our Magical Mystery Tour Bus, I've never understood smokers and gum chewers who would rather throw their butts and wads out of the window, so that as I cut my grass and edge my lawn, I spend as much time picking up their debris as I do with the rest of my task. That along with fast food wrappers, cans, bottles, CDs and old cassettes with the tape strung out for hundreds of feet along the curb. If we could take the Swiss and Austrian sense of civic pride in their city-scapes and country side and blend that with America's generous if obese heart, the world might indeed join the Magical Mystery Tour instead of the Fool on the Hill.
